17.1.19

Think im gonna smoke another strip and melt into my mattress. Fuck! I miss waking up in his arms, just next to each other, he’s so big he always squishes me hehe I love it though oh my I really like him, why did they have to go and take him to Jail! Hmm anyway, I had an appointment @ 10am that i said fuck it and didnt end up going to… its now almost 5pm wow i sleep damn good but my back is killing me and I’m losing so much weight so damn quick, nit that I’m complaining lol. If maybe i wake up later and actually get up! I’m going to clean the house a little, do some writing, im thinking about going LIVE on instagram i havent done that in so long… i just gotta remember to take my bins out.

Im going back to sleep, my dreams have been wild lately!!

Or… Is it just ANOTHER ‘DRUG-INDUCED PSYCHOSIS’ WHERE I FALL MADLY, DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH A BAD, DANGEROUS MAN ???

why does this always happen to me
i love it

IS IT LOVE, OR IS IT JUST WITHDRAWALS? 

I’ve got decent shard at home but meh I don’t want it, I don’t even really like ice anymore… I’ve moved on and found a much greater love for Opiates! Too bad I only have empty bags of Heroin wah… Before Om left my house last (before the took him away and put him in jail i’m so sad about it) he left so many Bupe strips with me to hold onto for him or for me to use whenever I needed.
(Bupe: Buprenorphine or Subs: Suboxone - which is a medication used to treat opioid addiction so in other words when you start to feel those sly nasty feels of withdrawal have some Bupe lol) 

So anyway, I’m feeling pretty good off the Bupe strips, I usually just smoke it on top of a cone or I’ll have foils… I’ve definitely decided smoking it with weed is so much better, pretty much gets rid of the foul taste! But then all of a sudden a rush of disgusting hot energy ran through my body. (and let’s be honest, over the years I’ve figured out how my body works in terms of drugs and how it handles the amount i put into it LMAO) 

NEXT SECOND - I’m throwing up. I can’t win. WHY???

I find it quite funny that both my knees are heavily bruised - not because i suck dick all day - because im a fucking pyscho trying to break into a house - kick the door in - wipe my feet on your heart

He tells me I’m that good kinda weird, that one of a kind cool-crazy-chick!

I miss my man

I cant believe he’s in Jail again

We were supposed to run away together

FTP and FTS

!!!!!!!!!

Im going to clean my house up hah i probably should its a mess and its really fucking with my mental health space inside my head, interesting how they both mirror and reflect of one another… makes sense though AND THEN im going to write and write and write about absolutely nothing but also everything at the same time hehe you know what im like

I think im going to either smoke or rack some gear (meth) later on when i wake up, but after i finish my 57th nap of today lol did i mention its 12:24pm and i have literally been sleeping for the past 4 or 5 days (thank you bupe and weed lol) since the dogs in blue and white stole my man and threw him behind bars (cops locked Om up)

Listening to 2Pac - So Much Pain (Izzamuzzic Remix) thinking I’m the baddest bitch in the world X

i’m going to hell but i’m forever an angel

al9ba:

I wanna quit school and do semthing fun

crystal meth ?